Thursday, June 2, 2011

Fire Alarm at Auschwitz Reserve

Ok, so blah blah you get that some jackass from Alabama or Georgia [sorry family] pulled the fire alarm. From accounts of other people who were on their porches, smoking, chilling ect... said they heard laughter and then WHAM! fire alarm. Nonstop, ear motherfucking bleeding and shit screeches. May I also mention the diaper bag that was stolen from me last night. Ehem, moving on...

As luck may have it, no cops were on security duty but alas, a sweet resident volunteer. Excuse me, a moronic fool troll from under a nuclear bridge. And, shall we put it, probably slowed down her golf cart [oooh she has a gooooolf caaarrrt] by 8 miles from all the McDonalds she was shoving down her gullet. A lof of people from the building were out there listening and generally rubbernecking. As was I. Because for fucks sake I live here. I ought to know what's going on. Is the building really on fire? Why the FUCK is it so loud?As a few neighbors gathered in a circle around the "security guard" [damn we had a badass team before all this bullshit.] I stepped forward to tell her, as she was obviously NOT prepared and fumbling around like a goddamn idiot. She didn't know if it were a fire alarm or a free breakfast call from Burger King. So I leaned forward and said "Someone pulled the fire alarm. It was probably a joke." "What? Huh?" "This is the fire alarm"As I am saying so [for fucks sake, politely like the southern woman that i am !] a black dood comes ferociously to my face with his hands doing a "blah blah blah" motion. You know the one. I ignored him until I was full of my show of utter stupidity and I turned to the man.

 "What was that? Why were you so rude and why would you think I would deserve that?"

"Why are you talking?" he say in an increasingly hostile voice.

"What?! Why are you so rude?" 

"Why not?"

"Because we're both humans and we ought to respect each other. What you did to me was inappropriate and I deserve an apology!"

He starts to walk upstairs. And I start to boil.

"Well, FUCK YOU!" 


"That's anger sir, you are an angry person and I would never want to be you! Yeah, we're all irritated that we had to get up and I've got a one year old who is now awake. Why not be more compassionionate to your neighbors!"

He then slammed the door shut.

I know there is someone on my friends list that works at Auschwitz Reserve and I say... go ahead. Let them see it.

Letting Walker go was the worst thing you've all ever done as a collective business. And I know the HOA is mostly responsible for this, but damn. They had Island Reserve [excuse me, Auschwitz Reserve] under CONTROL. And they were nice, responsible, RESPECTABLE people. I have NEVER been safer when they were around. You FUCKED up. All this and how last night my $80 diaper bag was stolen from my car. Some of you may judge other people by the color of their skin, tattooed or race and that's just sad. We are individuals and we all have a story. A beautiful story. All of us do. And for the record, my I.Q. is 136 and I have read more books than you've taken shits. I know more about the human condition and what we as people ought to be than you've checked the mail. Yeah, I I.Q. dropped but hey... sometimes you have to do it. 

And as for my FB friend, you are definitely not one of those people. You are hilariously fun to be around and I couldn't think of having such a good friend even though we never hang out. You missy, are one of a kind.


  1. Interesting post and thank you for sharing. There are things here that I did not think before.
    Thanks to cool such a position that is very well written, we will talk a lot of friends about it.
    fire alarm

  2. Huh? I ummm... I really didn't get most of what you said. Is English your second language? If so, then I would understand but if not, check yo self!

    And thank you for the link about fire alarms. Before that I had no idea what they were for.